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There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!"
The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."
When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a restaurant. Upon arriving, he ordered a drink and got a mug placed between his hands.
He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!"
The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."
After a couple of drinks, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located.
The bartender replied, "Second door to the right."
The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.
Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don`t flush, don`t flush!"
- Banta`s knowledge Banta and and son went fishing one day. Sitting in the boat for a couple of hours gave them not much to do, so the son started thinking about the world around him. He began to get curious so he asked his father some questions.
'How does this boat float?'
Banta thought for a moment, then replied... - Blow out !! Mrs. Jones was walking down a Street in Dublin, and coming in the opposite direction was Father O`Rafferty.
'Hello,' said the Father, 'And how are you Mrs. Jones? Didn`t I marry you two years ago?'
She replied 'You did that, Father.'
'And are there any... - Do you know? Santa, a small town prosecuting attorney, called his first witness to the stand in a trial - a grandmotherly, elderly woman.
He approached her and asked, 'Mrs. Kapoor, do you know me?'
She responded, 'Why, yes, I do know you Santa. I`ve known you since you were a young boy. And frankly, you`ve been a big... -
Caring medicos! Santa took his elderly father to a nursing home to check it out. He sat his father down on a sofa in the main aisleway and went to talk with the administrators.
Santa`s father started to tilt slowly toward the left.
A Doctor came by and said... - Cab Driver A taxi passenger tapped the driver, Santa, on the shoulder to ask him a question. Santa screamed, lost control of the car, nearly hit a bus, went up on the footpath, and stopped centimetres from a shop window.
For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then Santa said...